Bus Ride

I’m in Dominica! I’ve been here since Friday, a lot has happened so far, but I think the craziest was definitely on my first day here.

Sarah and Judy did familiarize me with the busses in the Caribbean while in St. Lucia. (Think 15 passenger van with seats put in, stuffed full of people hanging out the windows that are rolled down, reggae music blaring. In Dominica, as opposed to St. Lucia, there aren’t even bus stops, or routes. Drivers just drive wherever they feel like turning, and stop whenever they feel like stopping.)

Imagine me on my first day, I’ve got my braided pigtails, water bottle, gigantic sunglasses, and I’m going to see the ocean. I hail a bus, ask him if he is going to the area I want to go and climb in after a lady exits. As I sit down the lady is paying for her fare and she says to me, “Don’t sit there the seat is wet” and we drive away. Its rainy season, we are by the ocean, in the most humid place in the world- everything is wet, all the time, and I couldn’t even tell it was wet because I was already covered with sweat but I said to the driver inquisitively “The seat is wet?”

The driver turns around and I get a good look at him, long dreads, crazy eyes, and he starts screaming bloody murder “You pissed in my seat?! White Girl jump out of my bus, you can’t piss in my seat!” Mind you, we are going flying about 50 miles an hour on a one lane road with chickens and goats and children walking out into the street. The bus is loaded full of people, no one says a word. No one even acknowledges that this raging maniac is about to make me jump out of the bus. So he’s driving, turned around looking back at me screaming “I make you pay to clean the seat disgusting white girl! Jump out! JUMP OUT ” and in the middle of words he goes “BLAHHHHH” and shakes his head like Exorcist. Seriously, this goes on for a solid two minutes which is a long time for a maniac to be screaming at you. There are a thousand things going through my head, Do I curl up and tuck in my shoulder when I jump? Momma is going to be so mad at me for picking this island. Is there any way to prove that it wasn’t my pee?

Finally, he breaks out in the BIGGEST, grin, pearly white teeth and says, “Got ya.” Absolutely the most unfunny joke anyone ever played on me. And I probably sat in pee.